


Tainted

by silver_steps



Category: Teen Titans (Animated Series), Teen Titans - All Media Types
Genre: And now they're all back together again, And these GIRLS to WOMEN, Ass-Kicking, Basically the deal is that they've been separated for a long-ass time, But it doesn't help that puberty turn these BOYS to MEN, F/M, Getting to Know Each Other, RobStar, Romance, Slow Burn, Superheroes, Tags Are Hard, all grown up, bbrae - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-12
Updated: 2019-04-14
Packaged: 2020-01-12 03:17:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18437909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silver_steps/pseuds/silver_steps
Summary: After their victory over the Brotherhood of Evil, the Teen Titans became true heroes, and the world took notice. Robin was called upon by the Young Justice to assist the next generation of heroes to inherit the world, but the Titans were surprised when Beast Boy chose to follow in step. Now back home in Jump City, much has changed - that much Beast Boy and Raven can see. Beast Boy is no longer a boy willing to stand in the shadows of his friends, and Raven harbors guilt and frustration over things she can never control. They've grown, and neither can say they see each other as they once did. But is this change worth embracing? Or doomed to die?





	1. To Reunite

**Author's Note:**

> *** DISCLAIMER: I do not own any characters associated/owned by the DC Universe. This story is written for entertainment and enjoyment.
> 
> Hello! Welcome to my first fic on AO3! I'll tell you now, my fics are all shippy-romance based things, but I love the slow burn and build-up; you gotta earn that sweet satisfaction of true love, and I love writing it! There will be mild crossover of the Young Justice Universe and Teen Titans Universe as well as various DC information (not the live-action show lol, refusing that out-right) - the character's prominent memories and personality will be more influenced by the Teen Titans cartoon from the 2000s. I don't pretend to know everything about the DC Universe but will do as much research as I can when it become prevalent for the fic! Please feel free to let me know when/how/if I should improve!
> 
> This version, here on AO3, is rated Explicit as I plan on putting every little detail I feel here - whether that graphic battle scene (superheros without injury and pain? can't go without it!) or something a little more romantic (chaste kisses leading to not-so-chaste exchanges? that's just real-life!), this version of my fic will have it all, though not EVERY chapter. However, if you would prefer a much more tame version, a Teen & Up version of my story - under the same name - can be found on FanFiction for your satisfaction or for recommending to younger readers. I do not encourage sharing this version with underage readers. Thanks for reading my lovelies!  
> 

* * *

 

Beast Boy would have thought that his first time wailing down the free-way on a rad motor bike would've been with him driving, a cute blonde wrapped around his torso, driving off into the sunset. Though he found no reason to be complaining now, the changeling's accommodations were not as he imagined. First off and from his position, all the young man could see in front of him was a bright yellow helmet. A bight, obnoxious, canary-yellow helmet. Why would Robin be so against a little breeze in his hair, enjoying the windy-turbo from his ride? And second off, the light fluttering sensitivities accross his skin and churning in his stomach caused this normally exciting ride to turn into something a little more nerve racking. With a firm grip on his friend's red tunic ( _no WAY am I gonna go huggin' him, heroes gotta be tough lookin' ya know!_ ), spine arching as he looked up to the endless sky, the original Teen Titan couldn't believe he was going back home.

Though certainly, many things could register as home - in the Congo, with his mom and dad, or with the Doom Patrol, bickering with Rita, his other mom. Certainly two places he could sleep relaxed and contently, though the former Doom-gang could be a bit noisy and nagging. But they were a home nonetheless. As his body righted itself and the driving comrade pointed a finger at the nostalgic giant 'T' appearing on the coast, Beast Boy smiled wide and had a giddy feeling tingling from his toes to his nose. Now this,  _this_ , place was certainly home. Where he grew up, where he opened up, where he broke down, and was built back up again. Jump City held the most fondness memories of his life, and some of the most painful, but no hero left love unscathed. And by love, he meant his time as part of Teen Titans West, heroes of probably one of the craziest cities on the coast.

And then those butterflies started up again, not aided by the fact Robin was showing off some motor skills by taking a sharp left turn.

"Dude! Hey!" It was all Beast Boy managed to say with the deafening wind, and he was sure it fell on deaf ears.

Why butterflies? He had been gone so  _long_ , but now was a time he found them unwelcome. But they had grown, and steps had to be made. Steps to explore, to grow, to branch-out, and to revisit. Why, if anything, Beast Boy was safe to say he felt almost guilty for taking a leave for a few years with Robin to assist the Young Justice League, though regretting it was something certain he didn't feel about his choice. But then again, that made the anticipation of reuniting with his former teammates so much more exciting. Hence the unwelcome fluttering in his belly.

He envisioned an all out rematch-war with Cyborg on their old games, allowing Starfire to dote on his growth and him to take in the happiness that always just  _her_ , and to give Raven a few snide jokes he had been working up just for this one special time. Though unfortunately, this one special time was long in coming, and the green boy found himself fidgeting behind Robin. There was a pause, but more fidgeting came, and as if on queue Robin spoke in his authoritative voice inform from under the helmet, slightly muffled.

"Less than five minutes Beast Boy. I know this ride has been a bit longer then you're used to." But knowing words and actions had two different effects on the changeling, Robin floored the gas further to emphasize their near arrival time.

As the speed increased, the passenger's lime eyes widened, as he raised his hands and cried something that he could only say every once in a while.

"Jump City! I am HOME!" A series of hoots and hollers followed, the definition of glee.

Robin, in response, could only wish he could drive faster - who said Beast Boy was the only one else excited to get back home?

As promised, the ride took no longer than five minutes before the duo was pulling up in the rocky garage of Titans Tower. Beast Boy, hardly containing his excitement, vaulted off of Robin's bike only to be greeted with wobbly legs, crouching to a knee in order to steady himself. The ride had been a long one, but the excitement had only made it seem faster than it was. Once circulation was finally flowing, the young man stood and stretched, turning to look at Robin, who had dismounted the cycle and abandoned his helmet, looking around with a stiff face.

It hadn't only been Beast Boy who had missed home, and the studying of Robin's expression made something very clear - the last time all five were here, they were so much younger. Young enough to still be careless, and young enough to be rightfully dubbed the 'Teen' Titans. The once smooth faced and spikey haired leader donned a much more sturdy outfit, remnant of his Nightwing ensemble. Robin had been switching back and forth between these personas, and it was clear to see why. Robin wasn't exactly much of the boy wonder he once was. Short close-cut hair, and a chiseled jaw that clearly came from frowning, worrying, and yelling from his detective-sprees was proof enough that the name simply no-longer suited him. His shoulders were broader and his height had certainly changed as well, though Beast Boy was proud to have a few inches above his friend. Last they had been here, Robin had been eighteen, Beast Boy a year younger. And now, Robin was twenty-one, Beast Boy twenty. In other words, they were men.

Though through personality, that could still be arguable, as Beast Boy surveyed around with a pout.

Quietly, the red-clad hero rapped a light knuckle on a highly recognizeable blue and white car, shining to a polished perfection.

"Well, it's nice to know this hasn't changed," grinned Robin, looking the T-Car once over, obviously nostalgic from the looks in his eyes. Or, mask covering them.

"Okay, Robin," Beast boy began, turning and crouching onto his toes, looking about to jump or spring, clearly trying to hold his excitement in. "I sorta understand why bolt-brain's car might be exciting, but how about weeee...oh, I dunno, run upstairs and see 'em for real? For real?"

Robin chuckled, his friend's enthusiasm obviously starting to become too much to contain.

"Go on, B. Boy. I'll meet you up there in a second."

But even by the time he had finished talking, Beast Boy had left.

Rampant, hurried footsteps could be heard flying up every staircase, running through every hall, though sloppy sounding it was obvious the runner knew where he was going. Suddenly, Beast Boy's butterflies and tingles didn't seem as worrisome as before because of his heart pounding in his chest. The adrenaline, the excitement, the anticipation, the blood going through his veins and rushing through his ears as he hurdled into the living room and -

\- and nothing.

No one was there. Though Beast Boy's chest was rising with a huff and puff, he thought maybe everyone was on a bathroom break or something, or maybe his old friends slept in. Maybe they were hiding and about to say surprise? But as he looked, the once rambunctious green adolescent was suddenly peering for signs of life. He looked, desperately - no game on pause, in fact, the TV wasn't even on. There was no food residue on the counter, even the sink spotless and void of signs of use. It was as if a wind had blown through and carried any ghost of a living being out of the tower. Dejected, and a bit worried, Beast Boy crept forward. He was so certain, so positive that greetings would be as they had in the past: big, loud, and a little bit embarrassing. He dragged a white gloved hand across the kitchen table where they would all eat together, and not even a speck could have transferred between the two surfaces. It was haunting, for a place that was once one man's life, to feel so hollow. Pondering out of concern, he abandoned the already empty main room and darted for the left hall, thinking of Cyborg and Starfire's bedrooms.

Skidding to a halt at the first room, Beast Boy was not hesitant to knock loudly on the door, pounding his fists instead of respectfully knocking.

"Cy? Hey, Cyborg?"

Nothing.

"Dude?"

Nada.

"Metal-Head? Lug-Nuts?"

Zip.

"You there? It's me! The one-and-the-only!"

But there was no response.

Suddenly, the changeling's heart started beating fast yet again, but not for the same excitement of before. But with fear instead. Fear they had forgotten. Fear they were ignoring him. Fear they were gone. Fear something was wrong. And with that fear, he abandoned his best-friend's door, moving to Starfire's, this time knocking like normal, though with clear urgency behind his knuckles.

"S-Starfire? Hey! It's your favorite lean-mean-green-kitten-CHANGIN'-machine!"

And with his promise, a sudden morph and there was a small, and fluffy green kitten pawing at the door labeled 'Starfire'. Mewling with a content tail-flick, the green feline waited for her to open the door and scoop him up into one of her many bone-crushing hugs. And so he waited waited.

And waited.

And waited.

He changed back, a stunned look in his eyes, sitting on his behind with hands out in front. He stared at them, his mind trying to figure out just what the heck was going on. Focused on finding at least one of his friends to talk to, the young man sprinted back into the main room and into the other hallway - where his and Raven room lay in wait. Fingers crossed that the grumpy, fowl-mouthed, wise, and depressing halfling was in her room meditating, Beast boy passed his own room, though curious to see what damage was left after his departure. It would have to wait.

"Raven? Please, Raven, don't tune me out!"

He didn't even bother to knock, though at this point it he realized it would've been wise of him to seeing as she would often beat him to a pulp in the past for lesser things. Pressing his ear against the door, he strained, he tried to listen, willed there to be some sort of noise in her sacred domain, and when nothing came, he pounded the door with expert fists.

"Raven! RAVEN!"

Nothing.

One of the first things to pop into his head:  _alien invasion_.

But, of course, one of his close friends  _is_  an alien, sort of ruling it out, as she would of let them know somehow.

So then that also rules out killer robots or inter-dimensional crazy kidnappers.

Pounding a fist to his forehead, he slowly tried to calm himself from the crazy ideas spinning in his head. He felt anger building up inside himself, disappointment, shame. That he was not there for who he cared for and they could be in some serious trouble!

 _What else should I do?_  he mused, pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes, forcing logical thought.  _I could go back to Robin, but that'd freak him waaaaayyy out. Besides, I haven't looked all over the tower! This could be a...a misunderstanding. A prank! Yeah, Cy tryin' to pull a fast one on me. But no dice, I know all the tricks, new and old! He'd have to chase me in order to ge-_

And thus wide green eyes opened, his fingers snapping in a realization. A chase.

Or rather, in his case, a chase to find his hidden friends!

This time, Beast Boy had a much better idea as to where to go, and where to look. Tapping on Raven's door with a grin, almost as in for good luck, he sprinted from there, racing to the stairwell that lead up. Up to the roof! This time his feet hit the ground with an expert precision, yet barely a sound or tremble coming from his lithe body could be heard. It was quite obvious that the morpher's three years away had paid off; if he only focused, he could pull off any feat of physical stealth. He climbed staircase after staircase, keeping his echos dull as his shoes were made to muffle sound and send it down, releasing minimal vibrations. To him, this was classic, Cyborg and his pals trying to scare him on his homecoming day, and upon reaching the rooftop door, he instead slowed and pressed his ear to the cold metal. Initially no sound was heard, not a word, but despite his squirmy nature, sitting still was worth it if he could thwart a certain metal ding-dong's idea of 'fun'. Minutes went by, and the air hung heavy. He was quiet.

Waiting. Waiting quietly. Quietly waiting. And as the time grew on, he heard just the soft, muffled noise he needed to hear.

"...is it perhaps that friend Beast Boy has no intention of visiting the top of the roof?" spoke an innocent voice lightly, whispering without much success.

"ShhhhhshshshshhhhshSH!" came yet another unsuccessful attempted whisper.

_Too easy._

Morphing into a bright green cockroach, the bug-form of Beast Boy crawled under the slip of the door with a squeeze, popping out to the outer daylight. And there he saw each of three friends - no, four, as he counted Robin hiding near a filtering unit with a shadow. Immediately, he wanted to scream and call traitor on the hero for being in on the gag, but thought otherwise. Continuing to crawl beyond his friends, the idea was to morph behind them into his human form as they expected him from the door, ruining their trick as their surprise is nulled with a surprise of his own arrival. And just as he was reaching prime position for scaring, a gentle shadow fell over his insect exoskeleton. Antennae twitching, he waited for the shadow to pass.

It did not.

Peering up with beady, micro bug-eyes, he saw none other than a hooded cloaked figure, resembling the Raven he knew to a one-hundred-percent. He watched her staring without seeing her eyes, and wanted nothing more to scurry away at the terror of being trampled by her fancy blue boots. Yet as he prepped his green wings to fly, and looked away from her, the shadow dissipated, and there was not a sound of the cloaked girl revealing the bright green bug she had witnessed.

 _Did she know?_  he puzzled, momentarily losing focus as his cockroach form had been scrutinized.  _Maybe she's seen a green creepy roach like this before? In some weird demon spell book?_

_Well, even if she did...whatever!_

And with his final thought he sprang from the ground, high for a cockroach, before changing into himself and landing with his feet apart. And for emphasis, he placed his hands on his hips, toothy grin wider than it's ever been.

"He's tough, he's hot, and most importantly, he's GREEN - ladies an gentlemen," he paused, bowing for effect as all his friends turned in surprised, as their eyes were all trained for the roof-top door. "I have arri-"

"YO BB! Ha-ha, stringbean!"

"Oh, Beast Boy! Splendid!"

Before he could finish his lengthy and dramatic introduction, immediately there was a crushing hug from the Tamaran girl, her golden skin contrasting Beast Boy's own. Her soft cheek pressed to his as she smiled, threatening to possibly get her expression stuck that way with its intensity. Her hair was now more curly than it had been before, getting caught between her and then young man's embrace. And as if an alien's super-strong hug wasn't enough, a second pair of arms wrapped around Starfire and Beast Boy, much bigger, longer and...cold! Cyborg, always ready to get in with some action, whatever it may be, joined in the group hug. He lifted the gold and green bodies off the ground with his massive bear hug, laughing out loud in the breathy way he did.

"Hoooo boy, Beast Boy!" he called out to the sky, before releasing the two and ruffling the forest-green hair more than it already was. Starfire also released her embrace, but stayed close to her old friend, attempting to meticulously fix the hair that had been carelessly tousled, but with her ever-present smile. Cyborg snorted more to himself before clasping a large, steely hand around his closest friend's shoulder, "Boy, you have no idea how much we missed you. I mean, you COULD not believe just HOW different things got! But you're here now, so I say it's time to PARTY! Boo-YEAH!"

And Beast Boy couldn't help but keep smiling, for once speechless as his deprived eyes took in the images of his friends so missed. As he correctly assumed, Starfire's long hair was now sporting a curlier look, draping over her back in a fiery cascade of ripples and curls that seemed to match her blazing personality. Her skin had turned more golden, as appropriate for her people, but it complemented her and her dazzling emerald eyes. She had evened out, her figure nothing short of toned, solid, and envious to those who have to work so hard to maintain a figure. Alien physiology, though, honestly prevented the girl's horrendous diet from biting her in the - as his eyes flicked away in brief embarrassment - well-toned ass. But as Beast Boy shot Robing a daring glance away from the young woman, he knew "boy" wonder wouldn't have her looking any other way.

Cyborg, on the other hand, had somehow gotten bigger. Though not too long ago Beast Boy had been gloating over the few inches he held over Robin, Cyborg held what looked to be a whole foot over Beast Boy. He was broader, and certainly stronger, as the circuits glowing pulsated with the power he had tamed to life over the years. His red, electronic eye, seemed to have not changed, which was a comfort - Beast Boy saw his friend in that face and eye, even if he had aged.

"Oh yes," Starfire nodded, pulling and laying the green hair where she thought best, using it as a way to stay close to her dearly missed comrade. "I do very much agree that some festivities shall be quite appropriate in commemorating this joyous return of our dearest friend! Do you not agree, friend Raven?"

Beast Boy, who had been quite content basking in the attention he was receiving, turned on heel to face just who Starfire was addressing. His smile fell as the hovering form brought back memories of fights, screams, him running for what sometimes seemed his life, and hundreds of attempts at jokes that went unnoticed and without a smile. Yet Raven made no move to threaten him, mock him, or anything worth his worried thoughts. She just, floated. The changeling could not see her, for all he saw was a cloak, which had hardly changed from it's appearance three years ago. It seemed longer, floating in an ethereal manner about the girl's hovering boots, the only piece of her body that could be properly seen. The hood rested in a widow's peak fashion, the center of it's opening dipping down in a spike that covered her nose. It was reminiscent of a beak - a Raven.

"...I guess," she muttered to Starfire, demeanor as careless sounding as usual. But this response only triggered a smile from Starfire, as expected.

Raven, instead of retreating back to background bliss and going unnoticed, hovered forward to the guest of honor. A navy gloved hand parted her cloak to reach out and offer a shake to Beast Boy, her arm hardly extending outward.

With a quiet voice, her murmur sounded near nonexistent, but Beast Boy's excellent ears picked up the sound just fine.

"Welcome home, Beast Boy..."

With a huge smile, and a gentle grip, he shook her hand with understanding that her tolerance for hugs and loud greetings was limited. But as he shook her hand, it felt almost non-existent.

"Oh! Hey, so Raven, what did one bug sa-" he started, his expression excited and teasing.

"No," she chided, glowering and retracting her hand, turning and drifting to a rambunctious Starfire who had begun to descend the tower.

Beast Boy only chuckled and smiled, though he felt a figurative wrench in the gut at her harsh tone. He was shut down and ignored in seconds flat, completely stomped, and left feeling an inkling of disrespect.

Yup, same old Raven.


	2. To Rethink

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raven goes over all the moments she and Beast Boy had together in their youth, trying to pinpoint what exactly that's changed that upsets her so much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's where some integration from Young Justice comes in! Only a little, nothing excessive. Feedback is always welcome if you notice something you'd like to mention! Love y'all!

* * *

 

She couldn't believe that he started off by trying to tell her a joke.

Well, she  _could_  believe, but really didn't want to.

After Beast Boy had attempted to rekindle a dimmed flame, Raven at this moment felt it was perfectly suitable for her blow it out. Following Starfire, the empath was straight-faced as her comrade chattered on about his height, his hair, the age in his face, and how nice it felt to have her close friend in company again. Raven, instead, drifted onward, taxing mental energy as she did so. Whether Starfire was oblivious or not, Raven refused to let on how she, too, had been looking forward to reuniting with her long distant friend. And while Beast Boy is what she saw and heard, she didn't feel it was him. He was different, and her usual grip on the world around the halfling was starting to slip.

"Dear Raven, would you find pleasure in assisting me with cooking of the cake of angel's food? And the sugary paste that is frosted on top!"

Her voice was jubilant, and Raven politely declined. "I would Starfire, but I need to...meditate."

The Tamaran, on response, nodded - as they had grown, Raven's need for meditation was easy to command understanding and respect.

With that, the cloaked heroine retreated to her room, the hiss of the sliding door allowing Raven to fully release. Little had changed in her room - the colors were dark as light-blocking curtains voided the room of sunlight and books littered the floor. Only a few dim candles, which seemed to rise with her entry, warmed the room. Her mirror and magical artifacts were absent, though, as she found that leaving them in the open could result in unnecessary tampering. Not only that, but with Beast Boy on the prowl again throughout the tower, she wouldn't want him visiting places and talking with a certain bunch of 'emotions' that he happened to become well acquainted with in the past. In other words, she didn't want him messing with anything of hers. She had stored it away safely, though where she wouldn't mention to anyone.

Sluggishly drifting over her bed, the young woman fell into her expert lotus position. Her hands softly pulled her hood downward, her hands then resting open faced on her knees. It was relaxing to feel the chilled air resting in her palms, feeling near heavy as the meditation began to sink in.

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos."

The voice at first seemed foreign, though Raven knew perfectly well that it belonged to her.

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos."

She needed to clear her stress, empty her mind, focus on what was ailing her and cast it aside.

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos."

She knew it was Beast Boy's return that bothered her, and Raven quietly delved into that pool of thought. Why was it so troubling? She was happy he was home, she was pleased he was unharmed and smiling. Her inner-eye searched deeper into herself, racing through her mind with the memories of the changeling. She remembered when they first met, and the mask that had hidden his face, that once off released his more daring side - he no longer called anyone sir, no longer asked for orders. It was the first day they had acted as a team. He fought like an animal, a kangaroo most specifically, and she ran to his aide when he was cast aside. She remembered helping him to his feet, watching her new friends get carelessly tossed and thrown, and then her powers unleashed - it had set the control-deck to ruins. And yet, as they all gazed at their city from the island, he had not let her feat scare him, and the young Raven had in fact called him funny.

_A mistake on my part._  She mused, before moving on to the next prominent memory.

This time, a craggy path and field, the sky a galaxy of noir and crimson. Could it possibly be that he heard something that changed his mind and isn't her friend anymore? But he seemed happy to see her, shaking her hand and respecting the space between them. That respect brought her back to the mirror and the day Cyborg and Beast Boy had found their way in and they had fought her rage -  _together_. That was the day that she had promised friendship to Beast Boy, when it turned out their thoughts of each other were false. It was just a misunderstanding, and from that day on they had a healthy relationship, even if his humor caused some complications. And the moment when he even offered to do it her way: herbal tea. There was no doubt in her mind that he still thought of her as a friend.

_Then why do I feel so distant from him?_  Pondering, she went further, scanning the loom of her time with Beast Boy, checking for snags that could lead to her emotional struggle.

Maybe he was bitter, hurt, from memories of Jump City? Maybe his time with the Young Justice League had caused him to turn on his old friends? But within Raven's third eye she saw a flash of blonde hair, and blue eyes. Her heart seemed to sink to her stomach as all the times with Terra tore through her mind and all the feelings that she had felt upon the girl's arrival - but then she moved on to Beast Boy and how he had felt. The cracking in his voice and the hurt in his eyes as he searched for the truth in his first love. The stone statue and his pain, it rang through her, and how he felt so sure Slade had manipulated the girl that laughed at his jokes and held his hand. But Terra was a traitor and he knew that, ruling out all possibility that her comrade would ever abandon his team, new or old. His personality was too resolute to ever abandon someone he cared for.

Raven needed a moment to compose herself, lingering on the bittersweet images of the two misfits. Once her mind relaxed, the empath moved on gingerly.

Suddenly, her mind lurched as she reminisced on the feeling of metal hands pinning her to the ground, a slimy voice calling her ' _feisty_ '. Adonis was gross that night to say the least, and Raven felt a wave of cold fear that washed over her as she remembered hot breath on her skin and the feeling of fighting against a body too powerful compared to her own. Her heart raced, but not in a good way, memories causing a surge of panic that she tried to swallow with rising bile in her throat.

_But he saved me._

Watching Beast Boy destroy him as the damaging chemicals bathed them both had completely changed her perception of him. Could it be possibly that he just didn't care anymore, and she could sense his change in emotion, like she sensed her anger and fear back then? This inner thought brought enough of a pang to her heart, and Raven could briefly hear a muffled item hitting her floor. It distracted her for a moment, but she carried on, looking back on the nights Beast Boy had truly become a beast - but to protect her. What she had told him was true, even as he worried about the monster he felt within his DNA: without him, she wouldn't have survived that fight. The image of Adonis as a beast caused unpleasant shivers to run down her spine. Eager to be rid of the chill, she tucked the bitter memory away.

_I know he cares - I can feel it. He cares about us all._  She told herself, thinking harder.  _Perhaps he is just older, and has just changed?_

But as the next memory revealed itself, she knew even that was too simple to be true. Thoughts of the Doom Patrol and the Brotherhood of Evil came about, the family and sworn enemies that the changeling had known in his youth. Those few days, weeks, months had matured Beast Boy immensely as he tried to prove himself to Mento and Rita, and as he made the fight against the Brain more personal than it had ever been. It was, as much as she had hated to admit it, astonishing to see the change in the green boy when the Doom Patrol's leader called for his help - he became a leader. He was serious, scared, and determined, but overall he was smart. But just because he changed then didn't mean she lost him, and that applied to the now. He may be older, but he's still the same Beast Boy.

Quietly, waiting for the next memory to appear, her thoughts on Beast Boy's leadership made her grin slightly.  _I never really used that Garfield ammo like I said I would, now did I?_

The name certainly suited him now, and she tucked away the brief thought about discussing the young man's hero name - Beast  _Boy_? It would have to change, seeing that the scrawny child was now lean with the muscle-memory of a seasoned fighter. While the time on the room had been brief, it was clear to see that Garfield Logan didn't look like he did when he had stepped out of the tower all those years ago; taller, stronger, scarred and weathered. Whatever baby-fat that had been on that boy had completely vanished, right to the long, slim fingers that had wrapped around Raven's gloved hand.

But the next memory made all happier thoughts diminish, and Raven could sense a light-bulb bursting out in the hall.

In her mind, she remembered the days when her team was whole, and then the day when Robin left to assist the Young Justice heroes with his friend Speedy. She remembered life not being the same, things being quiet, things being empty. Starfire had been hit the worst, and the memories of back then were slow. She could remember consoling the red-head, unleashing more emotion than she had in years just in order to help the Tamaran princess. But when Beast Boy received the same invitation from the Young Justice League to join their team, all were shocked that he received it, and struck dumb when he decided to comply, slipping on a new red-and-white uniform. The three titans watched him leave, and no one felt quite right for a long time.

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos."

_He left because I said it'd be good for him._

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos."

_He left because we would support anything he chose._

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos."

_He left because of me. I was never kind._

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos."

_He chose his fate._

"Azarath Metri..."

_But I didn't want him to leave._

Raven could feel the vibrations of her bookcase emptying, adding to the pile already on the floor.

Her open palms, which were once cool with the pressing air of her room, suddenly felt hot with anxious sweat as she harbored the anger of irrational betrayal. She knew that Beast Boy never left to hurt her, or hurt anyone, but watching him walk pained more than she left on. First Robin, who always dreamed of higher places, but then Beast Boy? It had been like two fatal bullets had pierced her heart, the one true home she knew falling apart around her. Even with her friends back, it felt too good to be true. All Raven wanted was some assurance, something solid. No more friends leaving, but knowledge that the sun would rise tomorrow no matter what happened. Yet her life didn't feel that way, and as her meditation grew to a close, she still felt stirred emotions. Though her composure was back and at least the halfling knew why she felt so wary and irritable.

She felt her bottom and thighs settle into the cush of her bed, and her wrists went limp as her mind connected with her body. Breathing heavy, she opened her indigo eyes to greet the comforting darkness that was her room. Breathe in, breathe out, filling her lungs with the life-giving air and finish her self-search completely. Raven glanced at the clock, noting it was about six o' clock - it had been five hours of  _deep_  meditation. It somewhat surprised her that such a trivial worry as Beast Boy could cause her to do so much compressing of thoughts and feelings, but then again, there hadn't been much stress ailing her life recently. With a practiced hand, she raised her hood, drifting from bed to doorway. Within her mind, she set a plan of action: tea to relax, check on her friends, clean the dishes, go back to meditate yet again. Relax, friends, dishes, meditate - it was simple, and Raven liked simple.

When the young woman then entered the main hall, it was blissfully charged with a happy energy, no doubt upon the return of Robin and Beast Boy. The said homecomers were situated on the couch with a happy Starfire floating above them, and a smiling Cyborg laxing on the couch beside the changeling. Raven to a deep breath and shifted to the kitchen, the serene energy causing her to feel peace. The tower's aura hadn't felt like this in a while, and she enjoyed it to the most she could without allowing things out of control. She soon was filling her tea-kettle, a wise ear attuned to her friends.

"Well, it started as a group of four - Speedy, Aqualad, Kid Flash, and I. It wasn't easy cooperating at first, but our driven goal of being heroes made things fall into place pretty quickly. We became a more...'specialized' force in the Justice League. We also recruited Superboy, he was tricky, lemme tell you that. And of course there was Artemis and Zatanna..." Told Robin, recollecting the story of the Young Justice League's origin.

"Yeah," chimed Beast Boy, "And don't forget Miss Martian! She was the whole reason I joined the team..."

Raven couldn't help but stare at him as he said that, but of course, she wasn't the only one.

"Oooohhh, BB, you gotta girlfriend you haven't told us 'bout yet?" teased Cy, his foot playfully nudging his best friend's in the knee.

"The friend Cyborg asks an identical question as I," Star chirped, lowering to rest her hands on Beast Boy's shoulders. "By the way your voice altered from your feelings, it must be an affectionate relationship, yes?"

Raven found herself scowling, irritated they had not wished to include her in the conversation, and yet again her mind filling with irrational doubt upon Beast Boy's care for the team. Above her head, the cabinet door harshly flung open, though nothing spilled out - a consequence of her rising anger. As her tea kettle began to whistle with the promise of the healing aroma and taste of tea, the halfling inwardly sighed as she attempted to tell herself that the thoughts she had were, well, just plain  _stupid_. Her finger ran down the rows of tea she had, some loose leaf in sealed jars and others in bags, occupying her thoughts with the decision of what tea she should drink. Finger finally falling on a decaffeinated chai, she pulled a bag of the perfect blend to help relax in the late hours and fill her muscles with the relaxing warmth of exotic spices and herbs. She poured the hot water into a simple mug, dipping in the meshy bag twice before allowing it to brew. A dark aura engulfed the white mug, and it followed her as she joined her friends in their story-telling.

"No no, you guys have it all wrong! Megan...er, Miss Martian, she's like a sister to me! No, more than that, she is my sister! I never felt that close to somebody before, and by close I mean like a family. I mean, when I was young, she assisted my parents with the research that made m-" he paused as Raven came over, plastering a grin to his face as she sat on the coffee table with her mug in her hands. "Hey, Raven! You finally came to hear about my macho super-hero adventures?"

Her eyes were placid as she gazed at the green-guy in front of her. "Don't let me interrupt."

"Um," He blinked for a few seconds, and scratched his chin, "I uh...forgot...already..."

Raven, in response, rolled her eyes, bouncing the tea-bag in her mug with telekinesis. Soon the air around her smelled like the warmth of fall, the current season the city was celebrating. It smelled of cinnamon and nutmeg, of warm chili and ginger. She could smell the bustling markets of the Middle East and the heat of the desert, and her eyes closed, savoring the feeling that came with simply the smell of her tea. Though she wasn't the only to take in the aroma of her warm drink, and though everyone else knew it was tea, Beast Boy's nose rose in the air.

"Whoa! Raven, are you cooking a pumpkin pie? Maybe Ginger bread cookies?" His chin lifted as he tried to pin-point the sent, clearly intending to eat whatever he found so delicious smelling. "Is it apple pie? Oh oh, maybe even snickerdoodles! Jeeze, Raven, since when did you know how to cook?! And what are you cooking anyways, you gotta t-"

"It's tea."

"...that's tea?!" The disappointment and surprise was clear on his face.

And in singular response, Raven only took a sip from her mug, enjoying a pleasure her friend couldn't understand.

The chatter continued and Starfire, Cyborg, and Raven filled both Beast Boy and Robin about the things that happened on their leave from Jump City. It wasn't nearly as exciting as the duo's time in Happy Harbour, but at least the risk was minimal. Soon Raven was at the kitchen again, only cleaning her cup, and washing the dishes from the angel-food cake Starfire had so diligently baked (luckily following the boxed directions to a solid T, much to everyone's relief) with a sponge before stacking them all where they belonged. It was now eight o' clock, and Starfire was leading Robin to his room, smitten to try and catch up on more personal things. Raven merely intoned with a roll of her eyes - she would be glad to have Starfire off of her case for having to hear about the alien's relationship with the masked vigilante.

Cyborg was doing a routine check of the tower's system and of the city, and, unfortunately, had to ask a rather hyper Beast Boy to give him the time he needed to finish his responsibility. Raven, knowing she had three of her four tasks completed from her mental list, started for the door. She walked, content in knowing she would be back to the comfort of her room and a proper meditation this night. But before she could enter to her hall, a tall, green obstruction was in her way with a toothy grin.

"Uhh, Raven?" Beast Boy asked, his eyes shifty with a hope she recognized from their youth.

"What?" She replied, voice dull and lacking interest.

"Well, uh, Cyborg is doing some techno-thing and...uh, if I'm going to have anywhere to sleep tonight, I'm going to need help unpacking!" Smiling wide, he gave a weak thumbs up to the empath. "Wanna help?"

She blinked, knowing this was certainly an unexpected turn of events. But Raven had delayed, and all she could get out was a measly 'uhhh'.

"Great!" And before she had anyway to correct him of his misinterpretation, he was already running to his room.

Raven only sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. This was throwing a wedge in her needed time to ease her mind, but backing out now would be much too mean. Reluctantly, she followed the young man down the hall.

"How could  _you_  possibly need my help?" She mused aloud, voice still gruff. "We're heroes. Our personal artifacts are slim at best, even though I know most of your things were sent here before you arrived."

But Raven only watched as prominent red-and-white shoulders shrugged, no words attached. A strange response - Beast Boy was always words with her, a green chatterbox.

_Well, he once was talkative. Now he's just changed._

She stopped in his doorway as he entered, half-expecting to be greeted with a wall of stench that smelled like five-month dirty clothes and wet animals, a unique scent that was familiar only to this room. But instead she only smelled stale air of a room that hadn't been inhabited for a long time. She knew once Beast Boy left, Cyborg had practically bleached the room and painted the walls with air-freshener, but only time had removed the gross, sentimental memory of a grimy teenager from this room. She looked at a double bed placed where a bunk bed had once laid - Robin had called ahead and requested that something more appropriate be installed for a twenty year old.

"I know my bed-sheets are in one of these boxes," mumbled a busy Beast Boy, flinging clothes and knick-knacks all over the floor with he intention of finding bedding. Soon after nearly beaming Raven's head with a pair of neon swimtrunks, the changeling removed a picture frame from one of the many boxes or his suitcase, peering at it fondly. With an uncharacteristically gentle prop-up of the frame on his nightstand, Raven eyed a picture of the girl she presumed was Miss Martian hugging a wide-eyed and smiling Beast Boy. The empath couldn't help but feel a mild form of anger at the green-skinned girl for stealing her teammate away, despite the good-natured smile she wore.

"Here we go!" chimed a perky Beast Boy, pulling out some light-gray sheets, compacted from the long trip.

Soon the two were tucking and folding and patting and spreading, preparing a suitable bead for sleeping. Things went easier with the help of Raven's occasional power usage, and soon Beast Boy's room looked like, well, Beast Boy's room - he had already scattered clothes and comics and all sorts of other things on the floor searching for the bedding, and with the large piece of furniture now prepared, it already was losing some of it's stale new-room atmosphere.

"There," she spoke as she flattened the last sheet, and Beast Boy smiled in return, his lips parting as he began to say something annoying - a high probability, the empath thinks.

Raven, who found her friend's room to be very hot without the air circulating, lowered her hood to swipe a hand across her forehead and tuck her hair behind her ears. And then, with a quick flick of her wrist, her powers opened a window for her friend. Turning her to face him, the halfling was about to announce her departure to the changeling, only to find him staring at her, slack jawed. Not in a creepy way, and not in a mean way, just...staring, no longer trying to speak. His green eyes were caught on her face, and she found that even as a cool breeze ruffled his hair, the young man barely noticed that she had even opened the window - in response Raven cleared her throat, emphasized with a glare, and pulled up her hood to stop from any further strangeness. She questioned  _why_  she even bothered lowering it in the first place.

"I'm going to my room," she muttered, drifting out. "I believe your empty head is causing you to zone out, because your eyes certainly showed no signs of life in there."


	3. To Admire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beast Boy notes how Raven has changed, and it catches him off guard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELL here be the kindling that starts this nice, slow burn. Please enjoy.  
> I ask that if you like my fic, and wish to share it with your friends or on your tumblr, please go to this post _HERE_ to reblog it! This blog will also be used to answer any asks you have or post art of my fics, or just my art in general!  
> Thank you my lovelies!!

* * *

 

Falling onto his bed seemed almost dream like, and his lime green eyes stared up at the ceiling, a triangle of light present from the open window. Beast Boy hadn't been expecting what he saw. Her compliance to help him with prepping his bed was a surprise enough - though admittedly the changeling had rushed her, hoping to force some semblance of normal friendship on the young woman - and yet just something as simple as watching her pull down her hood was enough to send him speechless.

He sighed, running a hand through messy hair, attempting to push the image from his mind.

But it was a  _searing_  picture.

There she stood, arm raised and prepped, her thin fingers lingering towards the window. The breeze had instantly awoken the room, traveling up the extended arm and into her hair. It was longer now, framing her face in dark billows, it's length just barely threatening to touch her shoulders. Raven's hair was silky, and the moonlight glazed it over like raw and polished obsidian - sharp and dark. He wanted to touch it, feel how smooth it was, as the last time her hair had been short and cropped, practically lost against her relaxing eyes. The young man remembered how the night's light had made her skin glow, soft and smooth, though her lips promised no sign of a softening smile. Beast Boy wanted to tease those lips, tickle them into a grin, as the image he saw before him was seemingly imperfect without that smile. Without happiness. And yet, even without a grinning expression, she was enough to make his mind go blank.

She was beautiful.

Raven had matured he knew, but the once young lady he remembered had revealed to have grown into a spectacular beauty. Not a beauty like Starfire - no turning heads as she engulfed a room with her summer-like presence, not an exotic seduction. No, the empath was tempting and mystic, a woman who would have you smitten just knowing that she was allowing you her time of day. Beast Boy was indeed awed with his grown friend, absolutely speechless at her transformation he wasn't aware of. Her smooth jaw and dagger eyes, something that he had noticed but were somehow now  _different_.

Once the girl was gone, the young man hadn't noticed she'd left, and when he managed to even catch her glare it was surprising not to see the cloaked figure shaming him for staring at her. But she had disappeared, leaving the now messy room still like a held breath, finally disturbed when Beast Boy had just drifted to his new bed.

"Wha," he breathed, attempting to logically piece his reaction, but his mind could only focus on how amazing she had looked.

A knock on the door finally disturbed his train of thought, and the changeling's lazy voice carried to the door.

"Come in?"

Upon his approval, a light cyan glow flooded the walls, Cyborg entering. His red eye gazed at the mess now on the floor, and he chuckled with mild surprise.

"Damn, you sure picked up where you left off."

Beast Boy's reply was only a shrug.

The young robotic man looked quizzically at the green figure lying on the bed, then realized the sheets had been stretched and placed properly already. It was a pondering thought, seeing how Beast Boy had bugged Cyborg to no end to help the younger Titan ready his room, Cyborg only agreeing to help once he was finished with the routine system, tower, and city-wide search with the varying signals he had set-up in conjunction with other forces of good in the city. Though he knew it was highly likely that a crime could be committed well after the city-search, it was only preemptive and cautionary, though a hero didn't need to be called every time a beat-cop was dealing with a petty thief. In fact, crime had been recently slow, and the heroes had been enjoying many nights off. Two words Cyborg appreciated dearly. Yet even as the check had been a responsibility, the metal man had been a little excited to spend time with his pal. But with the task complete, he could only stare at his stationary friend.

"Did you already unpack?" Cyborg asked, his voice curious.

"Uhh..."

"Uh-huh. And did you do it yourself?"

"Uhh..."

Well of course you didn't," accused Cy, answering his own question, "Who helped you?"

"Um...Rav-"

"Raven?!"

Beast Boy nodded - Cyborg could always read his train for thought, and practically finish his sentences. "Just the bed sheets, mostly, it goes by quicker with an extra pair of hands."

"Gee, well," muttered Cyborg, "That was sure...nice, of her?

The response was silence.

It was odd to have Beast Boy quiet for more than a few seconds, and Cyborg knew that only too well. His good eye squinted in a accusing way, wondering if something more had happened in the room than just a change of sheets - arguments and insults littered his hard-drive from times past. Slowly, the tallest Titan walked to his friend's bed, the mattress dipping as he sat beside his friend. A cold, metal finger prodded the white-and-red uniform, causing a flinch and mild grin from the boy beside him.

"Dude, you know my sides are ticklish," retorted Beast Boy, curling onto his side to protect the squishy flesh.

"Yeah, I know," replied the larger male, bringing his hand to rest back on his lap. "You just seem off, is all."

Beast Boy shrugged, "Imma bit tired. Long trip, y'know."

The changeling curled in on himself after he uttered the half-truth, keeping his face away from his close friend. It wasn't exactly something he wanted to talk about at the moment; not that Cyborg was known to take personal feelings as an overreaction, but with a brief furrowed brow, Garfield didn't want to start an awkward retelling of how caught off-guard he was by Raven's appearance.

_It's just been some time. If I go putting ideas into the tin-man's head, he's gonna pester me non-stop about something that's just...no big deal. It's no big deal!_

"It's no big deal," he affirms again, aloud this time, popping up his head to flash a quick grin at Cyborg. "Really - just jet lag. We can chill tomorrow?"

He felt a bit guilty to watch the fleshy parts of Cyborg's face crease into momentary worry, concern, and by the gentle inhale of breath Garfield picked up with his well-trained ears - disappointment. For a second, the smaller superhero wanted to just bear his thoughts to the man and let gossip and over-thinking tear his thoughts open if it meant not ruining the expectations Cyborg had set. But it wouldn't have been his best friend if he wasn't understanding, and Beast Boy watched as the flash of negative emotion was replaced with that of understanding, and soon cold metal fingers were once again ruffling his hair.

"Yea, no problem, B," Victor offered warmly, beginning to stand only to jokingly use his leverage to shove his friend's green face down into the pillow. "I'll let the old-man get some rest."

" _Dude_ , you're older than me," Garfield chuckled, prying the cold fingers off of his head. "Trust me, more late nights will come soon!"

"Sure, sure - just catch up on that missed sleep so we can finally catch up on late-night chats!"

The weight on his bed suddenly disappeared as the larger hero went to stand in the door-frame, and Beast Boy watched with a lazy grin as his friend gave him an equally relaxed wave.

"Goodnight, Beast Boy."

"G'Night, Cy," he managed, watching his friend disappear behind the sliding door.

Surprisingly, with all the adrenaline gone, it almost relieved the green hero that his body was craving sleep - that he hadn't fully lied to his friend to cover up a few embarrassing thoughts. Within minutes, he was silent into the pillow, fading into slumber.

It was a cold shiver that woke up Garfield however, his response being only an initial stir; curling tighter, pulling blankets closer, a release of suppressed breath. The cold was so ridiculously foreign to him, a boy who grew up and fought crime all over Africa in his youth, that this sensation often was rare. His room in the tower and at Mount Justice were both warm and often stuffy with a more humid air. And yet at this moment in time, as glazed eyes greeted his dim room, the cold was cleansing to his lungs. Chilly as it was, the air woke him sooner, and soon the groggy changeling was sitting up in his bed, looking at the open window. He could see the sky - clear, crisp, sunny, and blindingly blue.

Beast Boy's smile engulfed him, wiping away the sleep on his face as he jumped out of bed.

Rummaging through an already stirred-up suitcase, a green hand pulled the stretchy material of his newest uniform - white and purple, reminiscent of his old Titans and Doom ensemble, but also of his time with the League. It was the right combination of  _him_  - his personality, his life, and of course his body. It only took moments to change into it, smoothing down the fabric with only a few pats, some hands ran through his hair - all the simplistic preparedness he needed.

"Dang," he whispered, staring at his reflection on the gleam of his window. Pulling his shoulders back and his hips forward, the grin on his face was anything but humble. "I look  _GOOD_!"

A little over-zealous confidence never hurt anyone; achieving a lazy style that he felt comfortable with did wonders for the self-esteem.

Finally complete with his self-admiration, Beast Boy exited his room. For a moment the polished hallway startled him - the changeling was expecting the cool concrete of Mount Justice. But the small falter was recovered quickly and soon the young man was jogging down the halls. His feet were bare. Why wear shoes to breakfast?

Entering the common room brought a sudden blindness as the large windows held the picturesque view of a perfect ocean and sky. The rippling waters below reflected the hot California sun, and though it was autumn, Beast Boy was quite sure that this particular day would be more hot than usual. Despite the promise of heat, he smiled and went to the window, hands pressing against the warming surface, nose just slightly pressed to the glass. He was here in the tower, in the city, with his friends, but the young man still only felt excitement in the pit of his stomach. It was enough that he couldn't stop smiling, even with no one to smile at.

Though speaking of stomach, the changeling's suddenly protested with an aching gurgle, causing him to press his forehead into the window.

_No one else is up yet, BB!_  he mentally consulted. Despite being a late sleeper, time changes could even throw the most hardcore dreamers, including Beast Boy. Going from East Coast to West Coast was a total of losing four hours, and the hungry hero was shocked to see it was six 'o clock in the morning. With a scowl on his face and one hand rubbing the back of his neck, he started for the fridge with high hopes of finding some sort of staple breakfast he could prepare that followed his vegetarian habits. It was true, Beast Boy could just eat cereal, but someone his age with high metabolism and needing enough calories to feed an elephant, cereal certainly wouldn't be enough for a first day back on the job. Though to his disgust he saw eggs, bacon, ham, and all other sorts of horrendous food choices, only resulting in his stomach rumbling louder.

"Ohhh, come on!" he whined, rummaging through leftover Chinese and something bright an pink that was certainly Starfire's. "Isn't there anything to eat?!"

"Maybe if you weren't so picky."

Beast Boy halted, his crouched form peeking over the refrigerator door to find the source of the voice her heard. Seeing no one, he shrugged, turning back to the fridge, only to see a signature indigo cloak now obtaining the vision to his left.

"R-Raven!" Immediately he stood upright, slamming the fridge door, both hands giving the girl wary thumbs-up. "Mornin'! I didn't realize you got up this early..."

In response the empath only stooped low to retrieve her tea kettle, following by filling the stainless steel with tap water. The sound of it made Beast Boy's stomach growl again, and hence he grumbled.

"You don't, uh, happen to have any sort of protein that isn't from an animal?" He asked hopefully, a smile filling his face. But Raven didn't even turn to look at him.

"Cyborg threw out all your ' _fake meat_ ' after you left the tower."

"Aw, come on!" The green boy dramatically flung himself at the table, flopping down into a chair near Raven. He pouted at the floor, and then attempted to think of an alternate source of energy for the day, his bare foot tapping against the kitchen tile. Whilst pondering, the young man shot a quick glance to the other near him. Her hood was drawn up, and without seeing her face, it seemed she was easier to talk to. Swallowing dryly, thoughts of food suddenly turned to thoughts of her image last night. Was that really the same Raven he had known - bitter, seclusive, hiding her large heart under lock and key? Here she was, an arms length away, and yet there were no signs she even cared he was near. The day before, when everyone was eager to hear from him, she barely said a word, hadn't even asked him how he was. All she really said was 'welcome home' - and now she only bluntly replied to his hopeful questions. And yet last night she had looked so different, a part of him hoped perhaps how she would treat him would be different too. It was puzzling, perplexing, and it gave a certain green hero a headache. He pressed his hand to his forehead and sighed, knowing all too well that he was thinking oddly.

_Well, Starfire is beautiful too._  He mused internally, his eyes intently staring at a crumb caught in a crevice between two white tiles.  _And so is Raven! They're both pretty - all super-girls are. Heck, ALL girls are! I'm just surprised on how she's grown up. Yeah! That's all!_

"Uhh...Beast Boy?"

His green head snapped up, startled in the fact that he had been caught off guard, and more startled that the exact plague of his thoughts was addressing him.

"Huh, wha?" He asked, looking up at Raven, trying to find he eyes under her hood.

"I've been saying for name over and over for the past couple minutes." She answered, scrutinizing the changeling from where she stood, before pouring her piping water into a mug.

Beast Boy blinked, and grinned in a sheepish manner. He forgot just how perceptive his comrade was. "Uh...sorry?"

"Sure," she mumbled, voice dry, before turning back to the changeling with a hand on her hip. "I was trying to ask if you'd like me to use my extra hot water to make you something to eat, since your fine motor skills are still currently sleeping on the other side of the country."

Beast Boy could feel himself nodding 'yes', and as she turned to face the kettle, he himself turned so his back was to hers. His hand covered his mouth as he furiously tried to suppress a blush, but yet another image seared in his mind. Raven, by placing her hand on her hip, had opened her cloak just enough for the changeling to see how else the halfling had grown. Her figure had been curvy before, but with a superhero needing training every day, the lean muscle Raven had built was soft and complemented her. Legs were long, her stomach soft with the promise of toned muscles sheltered underneath. Her fingers just barely pressed into the soft flesh of her thigh, silvered and almost begging to be bruised. And drawing the eyes up, with a quick flicker, it was clear to see that it wasn't just her bottom half so tantalizingly plush looking, having to flick away from the peak he was able to take of her chest. It, yet again, left Beast Boy speechless.

_Okay, okay, okayokayokayyyy!_   _Not right, Garfield, this is NOT right!_  Panicking, the changeling bit his inner cheek, patting his jaw in hopes the heat he felt would disappear.  _She's a friend, a friend! This is what happens when girls grow up, they change, yeah? I mean, she's always been pretty in her own way, and now she's just smokin' hot in her own way! No big deal!_

Thankfully, his thoughts were interrupted by a threatening growl.

From his stomach.

Just as he was going to open his mouth to complain yet again about food, a steaming bowl was placed in front of him with a pale, ashen hand, and then a plate with a halved apple and a banana followed suit. Upon closer inspection he realized the bowl was filled with oatmeal, and with his expert nose he identified a mix-in of brown sugar what he could guess was some almonds and generous scoop of peanut-butter. It looked edible if not tasty, and he smiled wide as he looked up at his chef, who was sitting in front of him with her cup of tea and the other half of the apple in her hand.

"Thanks, Rae!" He managed to speak around a spoonful of warm, gooey oats - the simple pleasure of food made his mind go blank of his previous thoughts.

"Manners," was what she reminded him, sipping her tea as the green hero managed to slow his ravenous eating. "And don't call me that."

Soon the bowl and mug were empty, and Beast Boy immediately rose to take them both to the sink. It was the least he could do after she cooked for him, even if it was a simple meal. Raven made no move to stop him, and soon the changeling was enjoying the feeling of cold water falling over his hands.

"Just so you know," the empath began, her voice suddenly much further away from the table. "Robin wants us down for training in an hour. So maybe waking this early will be a start to a good habit."

And as he turned to reply, wiping his damp hands on his chest, the girl was gone.

* * *

Pebbles crunched underfoot as Beast Boy walked outside, the sun heating his skin. His guess from earlier was right, and the heat had certainly increased, giving all the Titans a sheen to their faces as they stood together. Once Raven had announced that Robin was calling for training, it took only seconds for him to put shoes on his feet and start his way down to the obstacle course. Despite the sweltering temperature, a warm sea breeze lazily made it's way across the island. Lifting his chin to catch the best of the breeze, the changeling inhaled the salty scent with a grin, before turning his attention to the group leader.

"Alright, Team," began Robin, standing by the course like old times, looking up to the control deck. With a coy smile he pulled a small trigger button from his utility belt, his finger hovering over the red button. "Though I believe we've all been keeping up with routine practice and training, working together as a team of five is certainly rusty."

Everyone, though not entirely with equal enthusiasm, nodded in agreement.

"It's very important that we try to understand each other as best as possible and work together, not five heroes working on their own. So today's obstacle course shall be run," and he paused, finally pressing the red button.

"Together."

Suddenly, with a whir of mechanical life and electricity pulsating through the ground, series of blockades erupted from the earth. The entire ground suddenly seeped with fog and, as the Titans looked further, bright-red lasers weaved their way through the seeping ground clouds. Hidden on the edge of the course were small turrets, immediately recognized as the weapon that would shoot explosive discs upon an enemy coming within close range. And of course, as three of the Titans had the gift of flight, the air above them couldn't be much easier either. Large, long titanium tentacles pulsated out of the ground, the top of their writhing mass mounted with razor-sharp claws - which were also equipped with an electric touch. As Beast Boy watched the scene before him transform, he counted eight turrets and five tentacles, and the number of lasers was far too many to place. How amazing that they had all this technology available to them, a flat training ground able to adapt and react for their practice.

But as Robin equipped his nimble staff, the changeling crouched into his stance. He could feel his blood rushing, his heart pounding, the souls of millions of different animals calling him from the furthest reaches of his DNA. All he had to do, was choose.

"Titans, GO!"

It was a blur.

Adrenaline, of course, made things hard to recount, but with Robin's first word Beast Boy had channeled a gazelle. His nimble legs expertly placed all the gaps between lasers, as Raven and Starfire handled tentacles, and Robin and Cyborg handled the immediate turrets, he would handle the ones in the furthest back. Only too quickly did the green gazelle reach the sensor-range for the turrets and they locked on, immediately shooting a small army of disks to the green creature. Timing excellent, he jumped, only to land as an elephant and crush two of the eight turrets. Beast Boy was pleased.

Quickly, out of his range of vision, a sudden crackling launched towards the green pachyderm - a wired tentacle diving in for a strike. As an elephant, the hero had no time to move, and changing into another creature would take up all time of escape. But with determination the elephant suddenly became a triceratops, ready to take the claw head on.

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos!"

And then a wave of chilling dark sliced through the ancient, green creature's line of vision. The tip of the tentacle was now acquainted with the dirt, and the rest of it's body twitched spastically before lying limp on the ground. As he pieced together what had just happened, Beast Boy could make out a rather drab voice scolding him from above.

"We're supposed to be working together, moron," Raven chided.

In response, the green triceratops snorted and scraped a front foot into the rough cement. He wanted to move her out of the way, tell her to mind her own, but what the halfling had said was right - they were a team, no matter how aggravating it could be, and needed to work with each other. Within seconds, the five adolescents were back to back to back, finishing the rest of their course. Beast Boy, turning to his human state, decided to finish the rest of this training with hand-to-hand combat. He ducked, he weaved, and when his right hand manifested as a large bear-paw ready to kill the last of the turrets, everything froze.

Then suddenly a siren, blaring, and glowing red. An alarm.

Cyborg immediately tapped into the tower main-frame, his left forearm suddenly becoming a warning screen. The obstacle course froze and deactivated with ease, the protocol of crime overriding any circuits to keep their exercise running. The cyborg's heavy breath from training suddenly hitched, turning to Robin as his once metal hand became a familiar sonic cannon.

"It's Kardiac, Rob," he rushed, the red hero's jaw immediately clenching. "One hostage, and headed to Jump Emergency Rush, the children's hospital."

"Look's like training will have to wait," he hissed, turning to Raven. "Do you thi-"

"On it."

Before one and one could make two for Beast boy, a chill pooled at his feet, like that of your feet standing in the dewy grass at dawn - but there was no grass. Darkness enveloped the five and his green eyes could just barely make out the outline of a large bird's silhouette. The transportation of here to there was normally acquired with wings by the changeling, but teleportation was a foreign mode for him. Caccooned in the darkness, he new the actual time for the team to arrive at the hospital would take only seconds, but the feeling of this force made it seem like much longer. Everything was dark, and it was cool. Not uncomfortable, but the feeling of simply being was practically all that could be felt - only you and nothing else. And to this green hero, well, that choking feeling of existence proved to be unwelcome as he felt his chest tighten when there was nothing to grab, nothing to hold, nothing to do, nothing to see, nothing t-

But the second he blinked, all that could be seen was blue skies and a tall cement structure reeking of polished halls and disinfected, heavy air.

It took a moment to adjust.

"Now, what would the Kardiac villain wish to achieve here?" Starfire asked, quickest to recover after Raven herself. "Does he not choose victims far from the city? And also ones of perfectly adequate health?"

Robin in response nodded, his thoughts similar. "If he gets a sick victim, it will make assaulting him a much more...delicate process. Whoever controls that robot is apparently about to stoop so low. Even so, we gotta split up. Starfire, come with me, we'll be doing perimeter. Raven, go with Beast Boy, and stealth through the most immediate wards - his performance in training shows he needs to learn to work with you again. Cy, are you fine alone?"

The cybernetic hero nodded, jabbing an aluminum thumb to the doorway of the emergency center. "I'm going to tap into the cameras and alert the staff - any kid walking through those doors or already inside will be safe with me."

Robin gave his approval, and looked to the Tamaran girl as their silver and blue comrade went running. "Star, you and I are going to tag-team on the hospitalized children in their rooms as we go around to secure the building. Raven, Beast Boy, go cover the woman, children, and infants wing - they'll be the most fragile and you two are both specialized for minimal interior damage. Keep them safe."

Beast Boy only transfigured into a jackrabbit, his nose twitching once before bounding around to the back of the hospital. He knew Raven would be in hot pursuit, but the sooner one of them got there, the better. As he neared the entrance, his eyes caught the gleam of a sign labeling just what was harbored in this section of the large building - Maternity Ward, Pediatric Intensive Care, and Neonatal Intensive Care. His tall, furry ears could just barely pick up sound from inside it's walls, but he could sense many heartbeats - strong ones, weak ones, fast and slow ones, and some that were in sync with another, not yet born into the world. A sudden primal urge surged through him; the young were so precious, and any threat to one was worth every fang and claw he could muster to rip apart such a mechanical beast. But his head cooled briefly at the shadow of Raven falling over him as his body grew back into human shape. She, too, stared at the sign.

Her voice, though still dull, was thick with the emotion he too was feeling. "This is sick."

"Yeah," he mumbled, his fists clenching at his sides. "But just you wait, if that shitty piece of tin shows it's face, then he'll be sorry."

They only walked in silence after that. There were many odd stares as the duo entered the main receiving plaza, many young women and their families staring at the superheroes with awe, respect, surprise - and fear. As they knew, wherever heroes went, danger followed. When Beast Boy explained the situation, it was clear the new and expecting mothers were panicking, but Raven managed to soothe them as she explained their arrival was pre-villain attack. Their presence was for security and they planned to stop the massive mechanical organ well before he managed to touch any child in the building. After the changeling and halfling's message was delivered, the hospital staff immediately went to work securing all citizens. Soon it was empty, the tense aura waiting to be broken by an erratic heartbeat.

"So, got a plan?" Raven finally broke the silence, facing her partner. "Y'know, seeing as you were part of the mighty 'League', you must be totally calm and cool in this situation."

Beast Boy shot a look at her, his jaw and lip protruding forward slightly - her sarcasm wasn't really arriving with good timing. "Well...uh, um...we start by taking this seriously Raven, not trying to insult me."

"Hearing that from you almost makes me laugh," she muttered. "Almost."

The green hero turned to the blue one, a frown on his face. "Hey, relax! No mission is one and the same, but I'm just as experienced as you, and trying just as hard."

"Try harder," she mumbled, and the changeling could've sworn he felt her chilly gaze on his.

With the intent of retorting the girl yet again, something in him made him pause - instincts, maybe, or possibly a sensitive tremor or sound that could only be identified by his acute senses. Upon his reaction, Raven stiffened, her cloak shifting as she too channeled her energy to search the area. Everything was quiet, and there was minimal waves of emotions throughout the hospital. But there was a more prominent one, growing closer - paralyzing fear. The green hero sensed it too, and within seconds he became a bat, ears extended and mouth open to catch what he could. Luckily, the hospital was designed to rebound sound, and just the sound of a whimper, the sound of failing organs and a slithering, metallic heartbeat was enough to trigger a screech of warning from the flapping green creature. He bolted forward, with the halfling behind him in hot pursuit, her hands surrounded with a black energy to open all the intervening doorways.

Both of their pulses raced as they flew to the Maternity Ward.


	4. To Anger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The fight with Kardiac proves to stoke Raven's wrath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Blood and Gore in this chapter.

* * *

The longer they ran, the louder her footsteps seemed to become, and the lingering paranoia in the air slashed at the empath's tender emotions. After the lighting dimmed in the secure hospital wing, Raven turned to flying, her feet lifting off the ground, her eyes trained on a green vampire bat leading the way. Her comrade had rang the alarm of Kardiac's arrival, though she believed both of their senses picked him - or it - up. Beast Boy's specialized senses must have caught a sound, and Raven could feel a rolling trail of fear coming from the direction the enemy must have made its way through.

The fear she felt was not a mild scare nor a panicked misinterpretation but a traumatizing terror that could render any man, woman, or child scarred. 

The heroine was having trouble containing her anger at these thoughts.

Kardiac was, and still is, one of the hardest villains to detain and keep at bay. It was simply for the reason that the massive, metal organ revealed no motive nor master. The Titans had trouble predicting every time it made a move. Every attack a victim was ensnared as a hostage, and said hostage was always young - younger than ten. Many close calls were made, as fighting something that kept a precious life at it's center was difficult, and Raven could only frown as she forced herself to remember the times she would try to heal a child's mind as cuts or snapped limbs would be awaiting more proper medical attention. When it came to Kardiac on his own, the being was weak, but it's methods of survival were sick and many families would relocate to safer cities because of its actions - some with a child beyond repair. And yet this villain returned and returned, angering every being that knew his name.

Lost in her thoughts, the blue-cloaked girl forced a halt on her flying, noticing a fork in the path which she and Beast Boy were traveling. Beast Boy was still a bat, wings flapping to keep him at a level position as he attempted to pick up more sound waves of the mechanical menace. But too long had passed with no results, so the bat soon became a man, and he turned to Raven with troubled eyes.

"He's silent - I don't know where to go."

His voice contained concern, but Raven's own worry didn't hinder as she cast a mental net over the area. Fear, fear was what she was tracing, the delicate fear of a young child who might never see her mother and father again. Finding the trail was easy, but if a certain green hero could look into his comrade's eyes, he would catch the young lady exposing a near tearful expression.

"This way," she whispered, not a sound made as her body began trailing through the air, towards Kardiac.

The seconds that passed seemed like hours, but soon a red glow could be seen filtering under a set of double doors. Her arm snapped out and managed to catch her partner in the chest, a disgruntled breath pushing past his lips as she wouldn't let him move forward. Beast Boy looked desperately at his captor, gesturing to the doors with a fist - he fully intended to barge right in. Raven instead hushed his antics with an eerie finger to her lips, slowly rising to peer through one of the square windows on the door. Following her actions, the green changeling beside her rose to look as well. Had this situation been casual, the shocked expression on his face might have been amusing. But as Raven pressed a button to her communicator to send a silent alert to the rest of the team, she knew this situation was no laughing matter.

Kardiac had perched himself in the center hallway, three of his large, titanium vacuums supporting him like tentacles. The red glow from his glass shell was cast all about the area, turning the shiny metal a sickly crimson. The fourth tentacle was seemingly examining a door, obviously unaware as to how to open one without causing damage. But his reason to do so had a motive, for what lay beyond that door was a precious cargo that it musn't harm. Rows and rows of small cradles protected slumbering infants, some wrapped in blue and others in pink. Their little red faces slept with ease, unaware of the danger looming behind the glass. Not one was stirring, but as soon as that door came undone, the evil heart would bombard them and take them, leaving him invincible - for attacking a vessel carrying such innocent new life would be near impossible, even for the best of superheroes. Soon her green comrade motioned to the corner of the room, where a pile of chairs and tables were heaped, and on the bottom, two doctors and five nurses either dead or unconscious. They had been too late to save the infants.

Then another wave of fear hit the hooded-hero's mind, and she focused her vision back to Kardiac, peering into his glassed heart which was unfortunately not hollow. A young girl, five or possibly six, curled herself against the side of her red prison, eyes staring at the moving vacuum. She stared at the tube, her constricting features soundless with pure fear. Tears had long since stopped falling down her cheeks, but her eyes were glazed. Raven watched as Beast Boy's hand went to touch the glass window of the door, to try and get her attention and bring hope to her, but it was clear the child was in shock.

The two felt ill, their stomachs twisting, fists clenching.

Raven crouched back down, a hand tapping at the ground as she thought. Her instincts told her that waiting for the team would be too late, and her mind told her that most plans of attack would be futile. Either risk the girl or the infants - heart racing, she didn't want to admit that there was no good plan to think of.

"Everything will be fine," Beast Boy whispered, giving her an optimistic grin. He crouched to her level and began to format a game plan. She was struck by the smoothness of his voice, how the sound of confidence caused her own fear to quietly remain at bay.

"Hey, as long as the babies stay inside their lil' room they'll be fine," he murmured, pointing a finger to the doors they will soon open. "If I can get inside of Kardiac, I could transform and break him inside-out while protecting the girl. Or, if that doesn't work, I could at least try to get the kid outta there through force. The hostage is the main one at risk - if I can get to her, you can destroy it to pieces."

Her voice was barely audible. "You underestimate it."

"No, he underestimates  _us_!" Quickly, a green hand came to rest steady on her shoulder, searching in the shadows of Raven's features for her eyes.

She casts a quick glance to the sudden touch, but it's undeniable - she could feel his hand tremble as he gripped the swaths of her cloak.

"There's also other victims to worry about, Beast Boy," she whispered harshly, casting another glance into the room - Kardiac was still fumbling, but there was less and less time they could spare to try and find out a worthy plan. Her empathetic powers could only allow for so much to be let through before she would be overwhelmed beyond fighting. "The fear from that girl is clouding my ability to sense their health - I don't know if they're alive. We have to try and help them too."

She watched as his jaw worked the question, the muscle tensing by his pressed lips, eyes flickering downward in thought. His fingers almost bruised her shoulder as he gripped at the only purchase he had, though she found herself letting the changeling continue - his emotions, too, of fear and frustration were part of what was making this so overwhelming.

"Just let me get to the girl," he whispered, his free hand running down his face with fatigue - Garfield suddenly looked very tired to the young woman. "I can't- I don't... _sense_  any other signs of life other than the kids. No adult heartbeats."

_Oh._

Her hand went to grip the one on her shoulder suddenly, and she found her voice leaving her without anymore hesitation.

"Then save the girl," she whispered. "We don't have any more time to lose."

His features, so sullen, furrowed in a silent struggle of grief - how had they missed this? Certainly one of the perimeters had already been breached and Cyborg or Robin should had known Kardiac was already in the building. They were here to prevent casualties, not be witness to them. She could tell Beast Boy was struggling with this fact and, with her hand over his, dug her gloved fingers into his skin. Hoping to pull him back from the darkness she was all too familiar with.

"Garfield, the children. We need to help the children."

Whether the biting of her grip on his or the harshness of her voice, the changeling snapped his eyes to her, only to nod and pull his hand away from her shoulder and grip. She watched him with renewed interest as he, giving her a brief nod, slammed into the red-glowing room

The smell of death washed over her and the young man, something Raven knew she would never get used to. Her eyes saw now that the room alone wasn't red with just the glow of Kardiac's lights, but with the smears of blood along the floors, the walls. Her eyes caught the mangled corpse of a nurse poised against what looked to have been a barricade from the opposite side of the hospital - but her once sky-color scrubs were drenched with the darkness of her slick insides, the coil of her shimmering intestines pushing past a gash in her stomach. The eyes were lifeless, and it took momentous strain not to release the bile rising in Raven's throat. From behind Beast Boy's shadow, she could see so many more bodies than the meager pile she had thought were the sole casualties - but even the shredded gown of a patient, a young woman who's bloody palm lingered on the window viewing the sleeping babes, proved this was a massacre they had walked into.

Her eyes flicked back to her comrade before her, his hand still shaking. But from the hot, raging inferno rolling off his person, she knew now it had little to do with fear.

" _Fucking_...sick," he spat towards the mechanical monster. "You disgusting hunk of scrap."

Kardiac obviously heard the boy due to the fact that he abandoned his attempt at opening the nursery door.

Now crouched into a stance from training earlier that day, Raven watched as the young man sprung forward, his form suddenly shrinking to that of a small chimp. A confusing first shot, but after watching from the shadows as Kardiac whirred into action, it must have registered Beast Boy's new size as non-threatening. Instead of attacking it moved to prop once of it's vacuum legs forward, switching on and sucking the green monkey into its central chamber.

She took the brief distraction as enough time to turn incorporeal, her shadowed self stretching across the blooded floor to manifest behind her enemy. Raven anchored herself between Kardiac and the strong hospital door, her body manifesting its dark aura as she vowed to protect the infants within. But with a sudden lurch, the empath was engulfed in another wave of fear, he heart constricting as the emotion clawed into her chest. Immediately her eyes went to the girl already captured by the villain, and she watch as the child was suddenly faced with watching a green ape slowly contract and expand back into the figure of an adult man right before her eyes. But Garfield was fast to react, kneeling before the girl. Raven watched his lips, his features, soft as he said something inaudible - her chest relaxed, and Raven released the breath she didn't even know she was holding.

How strange - Beast Boy was never good with hostage situations. She remembered him always misreading the situation, joking too soon or merely unable to know how to console someone who just had a brush with death. His hand always found empty air as he fought to know what to do - hug the victim? Give them a pat on the back? After one too many scenarios where the press had called the green hero insensitive, he had stopped attempting to be the face of relief for their team.

But this was a completely different Garfield, as he knelt and offered his green hand forward to the small child in Kardiac's confines, his confidence bubbling from him like a gentle ripple. She could feel it, though more a blanket to the powerful anger that came with his perception of their surroundings. But it was shocking all the same. 

Suddenly the emotion stopped as she watched her comrade's features twist with fear, glazed red as his palm smacked against the crimson glass in warning.

"Raven - look out!"

His voice was muffled and distorted by metal, and Raven snapped back to reality just in time to see a long, vacuumed appendage sporting razor-sharp blades. They were darkened with some sort of viscous film, and the empath's heart dropped as she silently mourned the nurses and doctors who's dead bodies were surely what stained the blades. This place was supposed to be healing but now it was only a bloody graveyard.

With daft hands and a quick mind, from the rubble pile that the hospital employees had attempted to barricade themselves with, the halfling engulfed a large metal desk in her aura, crumpling it under forced pressure. Just as her own insides were about to be scattered across the room, she gloved the sharpened tentacle, crushing its blades under folded metal. As Raven continued to reduce damage to the wing and guard the infant's room, Beast Boy's fists attempted to break the glass, and then the claws of a lion, the horn of a rhino, and finally the beak of a woodpecker. All he managed to do was scratch the barrier. The red glare from the filtered light was starting to confuse his vision, and he found himself staring at his shoes in deep thought. Raven yet again watched her partner do something uncharacteristic in his mode in battle - he did not worry nor panic at the strength of the glass before him. But her mild distraction caught her off guard and one of the other vacuum legs knocked her to the ground, a shudder breathing throughout the hospital as her impact was forced into the rubbled barricade.

Yet the swaddled infants remained calm in their secure room, unaware of the danger they were in.

Her head had hit something hard, and as Raven looked for a handhold to right herself, she felt the thick sludge of blood soak her cloak, her thighs. Not her own, as her body registered no pain, but as she tried to slide herself upright the sound of shifting flesh caused her to freeze. Her right food found itself embedded into the chest of one of the fallen doctors as his shattered ribs scraped against the fabric of her boots. Just a subtle shift in her balance and the hero could feel the weight of the corpse force itself inward and over her ankle, the luke-warm pressure of a pliant organ pressing onto her toes. As she tried to pull free, the grip of stringy tendons held her in, until a sickening snap rendered the heart of the doctor dislodged from his chest and freeing her foot from its thick grip.

The blur in her eyes faded inward, outward as she tried to not over-think the situation. As she rose and tried to make away from the body she mutilated, her shoulder once again bumped flesh as another corpse to her left fell forward, his visitor's badge stained with his drying blood.

_God, no. Please no, this is too much._

Raven's breath hitched and her hand shook trying to rise quickly, only to stumble forward as her muddled head still recovered from the impact of being thrown. Her hands curled in on the sides of her head as she tried to right the ringing in her ears, sighs shaking as her will tried not to succumb to panic.

"Raven! Raven, Kardiac, he-"

That same strange, echoey metallic call and Raven's gaze rose to what must have been a blurry Beast Boy pounding his fists on the glass.

The mechanized organ was once again at the door to where the slumbering infants lay, though finally the metal appendage managed to somehow grip, twist, and push to open the safe room. White light creaked past the sliver in the door, cutting through the glowing red haze. Time slowed as Raven felt heat all within her, the white-hot blaze of wrath as it boiled in her blood. The very grips on reality she felt wavering as her body began to move. Her mind was left behind, however, as she could feel the the tantalizing pull of demonic prowess from the sheer anger her body was overtaken with. Black, shadowed aura surrounded the handle of the door and forced it shut - the loud slam was only enforced by the sickening sound of wailing babes as the infants were disturbed from their sleep.

The anger bubbled over her skin, burning and blistering it felt like, though in the glow of the room no one could quite see as Raven's anger caused her visage to become red with rage. The white glow from her eyes tainted with unholy power as suddenly Kardiac was engulfed by her magic, rendering his red glow useless as her aura began to surround him.

Empowered with the anger she felt at Kardiac's success, she rose from what little rubble she had been smashed into, her snarl as threatening as a bears.

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos!"

Within her mind she tugged at every limb, at every crevice within its build, and was near ready to rip the thing to shreds. But a scream and shout from inside the center cavity made her pause, hesitate. She locked eyes with her comrade and merely froze - was she about to kill them all?

With the time he had before Raven would tire of her hold on Kardiac, Beast Boy sprang into action, plucking the little girl into his arms as if to shield her from a fiery blast. And as she was protected by his chest, the green hero produced the shell of a great turtle, though barely with enough time to spare. Raven's rage echoed as she screamed at the mechanical monster, the crying sound of newborn babes swirling around the hallways as the sharp sound of glass cracking and metal breaking turned into a gross symphony. Seconds later, the cavity shattered, and Raven dashed forward to cover the now-human changeling and teary-eyed child with a protective barrier. As the debris fell a sudden green light filled the chamber - Starfire had arrived moments too late. Her eyes locked with Raven as the two watched the remnants of the villain scatter onto corpses and puddles of blood.

A weak voice murmured to her right, and Raven turned to get a stare from Beast Boy's wide eyes. "See? Destroyed...to pieces."

Her eyes immediately went down to the six-year-old girl, who was now trembling and staring at the ground with wide eyes - bright blue, glazed and fearful. One of her hands clutched to Beast Boy's uniform, but it was obvious to see that her grip was weak. The two, halfling and changeling, looked down at her with concern as doors once again slammed open with the blue glow of Cyborg entering the room, Robin not far behind.

"Raven, she's not moving," Beast Boy whispered, gently shaking the girl he protected, his face confused at to why she wasn't doing, well, anything.

Raven sighed, and instead of casting a glare at her comrade for his ignorance, lifted a hand to tuck a stray lock of hair behind the girl's ear. "She's in shock. She needs help."

When she looked to him for a response, she was only met with another confused expression, the sound of wailing infants causing her mind to shut in on itself. One exasperated huff and Raven was standing, trying to calm herself. She forced stoicism to her expression as she grew ashamed at her anger. Releasing her rage has choked this battleground with the taste of terror; sharp, acrid, like vinegar and fire. Once more glance to the poor girl had Raven reeling with shame. The girl's pulse was low and her features were pale - her body was shutting down from fear, and likely not just from Kardiac.

"Starfire," she offered, turning to see the sunset-skinned warrior doing damage control. But the princess's face was distorted with worry as she tried to open the door to where the newborns were left unattended. Raven could see now that, in her rage, she had down more than just slam the door shut. The entire frame was molded and distorted, preventing the door from ever being able to be opened normally. With a cautious glance, Starfire looked back at the halfling. The cloaked figure swallowed dry guilt, only to once again be distracted by the screaming of infants. Robin was soon by Starfire's side and she could pick up on a few exchanged words; the alien's voice was soft as she mentioned, "All the little ones are uninjured - just scared, it seems."

Only Beast Boy and Raven knew why, of course, but that didn't help the situation seem any less frightening. With what little mental strength she had left, Raven forced a calm upon herself, her lungs filling with putrid air as she forced the idea of safety into her head. And then - raising one gloved hand - she wove that feeling into a net, casting out the invisible feeling of calm onto the young souls she had locked away for safe-keeping. Though it took a minute, the cries slowly died into small whimpers and gurgles, only to once again be replaced with the deafening silence of sleep.

"There," she said, though she caught Robin staring at her shaking hand before she hid it under her cloak, turning back to the small girl and her green partner.

Instead her eyes saw a furry tail.

Beast Boy was no longer Beast Boy but a green labrador dog, his tail wagging slowly as he maneuvered to be in front of the little girl. Raven's left brow rose, but then she noticed the design of a puppy on the child's t-shirt. Indigo eyes watched on as the dog whined again, his cool nose nudging her tiny chin. He buried his soft head into her chest, even barked at her once. With slow progress the little girl's blue eyes focused on the dog in-front of her. Raven, acting quickly, moved forward to shield the child from finally processing the numerous dead bodies around, her sobs and tears and screams coming in waves. Her cloak like a blanket, Raven draped it around the crying figure, arm drawing the tiny body to the warmth inside the blue fabric. Beast Boy, worried, stayed as a dog and close to the girl, as her cries let out the emotion she held in for so long. Raven was pleased to see red returning to the girl's face though only because it meant blood was flowing in her body properly.

As the child's wails became endless hiccups, the dog licked a few of her tears, before finally turning back to his human form. The look on his face was bittersweet, as he was happy to see her reacting to the environment again. But it was sad to see such an innocent girl so broken. Quietly, Raven rested a hand to the child's temple. A blue aura licked the slender fingers and caressed the little one's wispy brown hair, and the empath slowly tried to repair and heal a broken mind. It was delicate work, erasing some memories and dimming others, trying to eliminate damage without creating more.

She felt the looming presence of Robin without him even needing to speak.

"This was a disaster," he bit, easily breezing past Raven and Beast Boy, kneeling at the remains of the exploded metal heart. He picked up some of the red glass and metal and deposited in one of his own personal lab bags - clearly Robin would like to do a little research of his own. "Too many casualties. And you barely left any of the enemy to properly study why this even happened."

Cyborg walked forward and began working with Starfire to push the broken doorframe into place, sighing as they finally managed to open the door into the infants room. "It wasn't just them, Rob. I scrubbed the security cameras for this wing last...I didn't actually think it would come here."

The team could hear as Robin's tongue clicked against his teeth with agitation, but the ease in the leader's shoulder's told them all he was just frustrated with the outcome. It had been beyond their control. Their leader motioned for Beast Boy to go to his side in, though Raven saw no movement. Instead he watched her teammate's green gaze travel back to a now sleeping girl, and his face fell as they all remembered the original summary of their mission - 'one hostage, and headed to Jump Emergency Rush'.

His large feet were surprisingly quiet as he scoot closer to Raven, peering down at the little girl in her arms. "She's so small...I know you can't, but I could  _smell_  the fear rolling off of her."

Starfire, too, positioned herself above Raven, her golden hand lowering to brush the wisps of hair above the victim's forehead. "The poor child...can we not return her to her family now?"

"Yeah," Beast Boy chimed in, his mind returning from a fog. "She needs to get home. I think Raven helped her out with healy-powers or somethin', so she should be good now."

They sort of basked over the oddity of it all, the peaceful feeling of sleeping children not matching the death of this room. Within a matter of minutes of Robin communicating back to the police force, the battle-ground became a crime scene as forensics began bagging bodies. Hospital personnel and police alike began moving the infants from the dangerous scene, their tiny hearts unaware of how much danger they were in mere minutes ago.

Robin, who finally finished collecting evidence, displayed a tiny map on his communicator instead of speak. The five rose in unison, explaining their motive to return the girl to her family, and left without the police stopping them - they would cooperate in time, but with lives still endangered, now was not the time to invite the team to questioning. The cloaked heroine continued to carry the child, which needed two hands to properly commit to and therefore she could not pull up her hood. All of her friends noticed the look of worry in her eyes though her expression remained the same. Raven was grateful no one asked how she was.

The flight to this girl's home did not take long and soon they were standing in front of a normal suburban duplex, picket fence and all. Though this particular home had two police vehicles positioned out front and a van from the local news station interviewing a middle-aged couple with tears in their eyes and choked voices. It could not have been more obvious that they were the parents of the girl taken victim. As the Titans descended, the woman who could be assumed the mother looked at them with a mingled coupling of shock, fear, and hope. To the heroes she ran, screaming out: 

"Faith!"

Raven blinked - either that was the girl's name or the mother was religiously devout.

But as the woman came to Raven, who was the least approached of all the Titans, she knew that the sleeping girl in her arms and crying mother were related. They both had the same deep blue eyes. Carefully handing the girl to the crying mother's arms, she felt the relief that emanated from the feelings of all around her - the mother and father, the police, and even the reporters who often never cared about anyone as long as they just got a good scoop. It left the halfling exhausted from all of the emotion, and she crept back as Beast Boy explained everything to Faith's mom. Robin and Cyborg explained the situation to the police and the man that was introduced as Faith's father. Though he tried to appear tough, the red in his eyes made it clear that he too cried over the fear and worry for his daughter.

Raven, too tried to appear tough, as she drew up her hood.

Why did emotions have to be so painful?

* * *

The five sat around a familiar table, littered with cardboard boxes and paper plates. A small radio chattered with what sounded like a few talk-show hosts and sound effects, though not enough to pull away from the conversation. At the table five young adults indulged in a deluxe extra-cheesy pizza, and already everyone was on seconds. It had taken time for the heroes to regain an appetite after the emotional encounter with Faith and her family, but once everyone had time to comprehend the situation they knew in the end it had been a decent night. They had saved precious lives from being stolen from their families, and that's what truly mattered at the end of this mission. Raven and Beast Boy were surely the most irked, but a slice of pizza and glass of bubbly soda later and the antics started all over again.

"Hey hey, here's a good one!" munched Beast Boy, taking a bite of his third slice of pizza and smiling as the gooey cheese stretched. "Why did the hipster burn his lips?"

Raven, of course, rolled her eyes, as the rest of Beast Boy's audience was more or less interested. They pondered, especially Starfire, who inquired just what a 'hipster' exactly was. All these years and the alien still had trouble keeping with the times. A minute or two with grumbled and wrong answers, all eyes turned to the green prankster, who smiled as wide as he could.

"He took a bite of his pizza before it was cool!"

Mock laughter was heard as Beast Boy enjoyed a cheeky grin.

"I am afraid I do not understand," mused a puzzled Starfire, nibbling on a pizza crust generously dipped in mustard. "Is it not logical that human flesh would burn at those temperatures?"

"Uhhh...well, Star, it is," Cyborg was going to attempt to answer, but he thought better of it, and Robin could only shrug.

As the four bickered back and forth about what hipsters are and aren't, and Starfire pleading for an explanation to a word she did not know, Raven's right pointer finger drew imaginary circles on the table. She was eating slowly, enjoying the atmosphere, enjoying her friends, but she wanted nothing more but peace and quiet and her bed to sleep in. Exhaustion could appear in two forms, physical and mental, and the halfling was currently low on both, and her eyes drooped. Only so much mental healing could be done as you wash the blood of dead doctors off of your body in the shower, letting a few frustrated tears fall as she tried not to gag while brushing her teeth. Even now, hours after the ordeal and being forced by the rest of the group to eat, she felt frustration. This was all what came with the line of work, but it was at times like these she fell the most pressure to just isolate herself away into a world where she could not be bothered. Yes, they all needed to unwind after such an awful mission. Bite after bite she remained silent and soon the pizza was gone. Cyborg stood and stretched, Robin and Starfire following suit, lazily meandering toward their rooms. Raven's mind fogged - they were going to bed already?

Though Robin and Cyborg left, now in a heavy discussion on why they disliked hipsters, a curious-as-ever Starfire peered at Beast Boy, who was waiting for Raven to stand before he would.

"Are friends Raven and Beast Boy going to bed as well?" she asked kindly, drifting back to their table.

But before Raven could reply with a common 'yes', Beast Boy cut her to it, giving a wink at the Tamaran.

"I was gonna talk with Rae for a bit before we left," he voiced, casting a quick glance to Raven's reaction, "If that's, y'know, okay,"

But when the hero turn again to look for Starfire, she was already gone, though an echo of a giggle lingered in the air. They both sighed, boy and girl, which caused the two of them to look at each other suspiciously. The green one broke eye contact first, sheepishly slurping the last of his soda with an unpleasant noise. Raven, in turn, grit her teeth due to the annoyance.

"I thought I told you to never call me Rae," she muttered, her gaze straight and even.

"Aw, come on Raven," he smiled, sensing an opening in the conversation. "It's all outta good fun!"

"Funnn..." she muttered, quite dry, and quite sarcastically.

Continuing, Beast Boy turned to Raven, scratching the back of his neck. "Uh, look...I guess I just wanted to check on you. Are you okay? Y'know, from all that happened?"

"Yes." It was a lie.

"Well, 'kay..." he breathed, his hand going to rest on his lap, "If you care, I was scared. All those little babies and that little girl....I was really scared. Almost felt like too much for my first day officially back on the job. But of course, I did tell you it'd be okay!"

Thus the silence overtook them again, even with his last happy comment, and the empath could feel a tiredness overcoming her yet again. She wanted to just go to her room, go sleep, go rest, but she could sense that her comrade still had something to say. Out of sheer boredom, a black aura engulfed the straw in her glass of water, moving in it in a circle motion to stir the ice. Her indigo eyes watched it go, round and round, and she lost track of her mind.

"How did you do it?" she asked suddenly, eyes on the straw.

Beast Boy was obviously surprised, pulling on the collar of his shirt. "Wh-what do ya mean?"

"The fight, the girl," she clarified, still watching the straw. "How did you not freak out? You always freak out."

She watched him as he thought, her eyes finally breaking from the straw as it started to slow, depowered. He had his lime eyes looking down at the table-top, thick brows furrowed in concentration. Raven knew he wouldn't answer the question straight away nor find an easy answer - it was Beast Boy after all. But it was near comforting to watch him think about such a simple question so thoughtfully, and Raven found herself gazing over each change in his face. The stronger jaw, though still slightly underbiting his lip, was defined from all the smiling he did. Even with his lips tightly pursed she could see the faint parenthesis framing the corners of his mouth. His hair was longer, shaggier, but the tousled look suit his messy and bouncy personality, and thus it was slightly pleasing to look at.

 _Pleasing?_  She thought, internally questioning herself.  _Beast Boy is anything but pleasing, in appearance and personality._

Her eyes traveled to his broader shoulders, his longer arms. Those arms protected a little girl today, and she noticed that they were stronger. His torso, his legs, his feet, all bigger and longer and toned. It was him, it really was, but as he still pondered her question, she struggled. He  _was_  pleasing. Just being here with him was pleasing. But the memories of the jokes, the annoyance, and the noise; all she felt was loathing. But staring at him now she felt content. Content with the boy who risked his life for children who hadn't experienced life yet, content with him even though she wanted to scream at him for leaving her family so long ago. Her face flushed, and her eyes blinked - she didn't actually like his company him now, could she?

Suddenly his hand slapped the table, and Raven jumped, staring at the boy beside her with red cheeks.

"I guess," he started, giving Raven a smile she couldn't help but note as handsome.

"I just had a little ' _Faith_ '!"

No. No she could definitely still not like his company.


End file.
